5 Things to Remember About Grief Counseling for Children

Grief counseling is a growing field of specialty, and grief counselling for children is a critical part of the discipline. Children's grief should be handled fairly carefully for optimal outcomes. Children are surprisingly resilient, yet their experiences can create lasting shadows in their later lives. If you’re studying grief counselling, or thinking about becoming a grief counsellor, here are 5 things to remember about dealing with children in your clinical position.

1. It's often the first time they have experienced this sort of loss

Children's view of the world is often very self-centered -- they tend to take on blame for their personal circumstances. They have never been told before that the reason their loved one died was not because of them … and as silly as it sounds to adults, this is very necessary.

2. Children express their grief differently to adults

Children's grief often manifests in behavioral problems. It is essential that any adults in the grieving child's life understand that they can expect excessive crying, withdrawal, refusal to speak, bedwetting, loss of appetite or disruptive behavior at school. Children will need to be helped with these issues in light of the fact that they arise out of grief.

3. Grief takes time

Many of us still don't deal with grief well, even as adults. It takes children a long time to understand what has happened, even with careful explanation by a grief counsellor. Expect to have to repeat the same concept to children over and over again.

4. Don't use euphemisms

Children often take euphemisms for being dead quite literally. If their grief counsellors use the words "sleeping," "lost," or "at rest," the children may expect the return of the dead person for a long time and ultimately delay working through the grief.

5. Grief counselling for adults around the children is just as important

Children learn by watching and imitating, so it is essential that the adults around them know how to express their grief in a healthy, honest and open manner. A big part of grief counselling for children is counselling for the related adults in the same situation. Role modeling is something the counsellor cannot provide, unfortunately.